A New Year Theme- Do You Have One?

“Your problem is to bridge the gap between where you are now and the goals you intend to reach.”

- Earl Nightingale

It seems like just yesterday when we celebrated 2011 as a new year, how time flies. It feels good to know that we passed through and experienced all the joy, troubles and challenges and now have the opportunity to say goodbye to all that and start anew. Like this year, we start every other year expectant and hopeful that the year would be the best year ever. As we know, this is not how the year always turns out to be.

Every year comes with a couple of life assignments for you to take home. These assignments present their own form of trials but your job is to complete and present them at the end of the year for assessment.

How did you do in your previous assignment? Did you achieve all you set out to do?

As for me, the answer to the above question is no, but I had a pretty good grade. It's a ritual for us as achievers to set New Year resolutions for ourselves. In 2011, mine didn't live to see the first of February. Why?

EMPOWER YOUR VISION WITH SKILL

"Be sure that as you scramble up the ladder of success, it is leaning against the right building"

-Stephen Covey

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Over time, I've heard some really interesting ways of how people discovered their purpose and how they ended up achieving it as if by magic. One thing I got to discover was that when you know the purpose for which you were created, your life seems to be 'engineered' in that particular direction. Out of these stories, there's one I really like which I would share with you. Sometimes we feel we know what is good for us not knowing that there's a higher power that knows better.

A young man once asked God to reveal to him what he would be in future. After constant prayers, God finally gave him a revelation. In his dream, he saw himself washing clothes. Being that the job of a 'washer man' is not considered a 'noble profession', he rejected the vision and prayed again. The following day, he dreamed again but this time, he was ironing the clothes he washed the previous day. That was the last time he prayed for purpose.
He went on to study Electrical engineering in the University and was really good at repairing machines. Sometime after graduation, a friend realized how skillful he was and gave him a few 'damaged' appliances to repair, one of which was a machine used for cleaning carpets. This young man repaired it fast and decided to sell it, but buyers were not forthcoming. Instead of dumping the machine, his business acumen awoke on his inside and he started a 'DRY CLEANING' business. All he had to do was get more damaged machines from his friend, repair them and use them in his business. Today, he not only washes clothes but suits, carpets, upholstery and more. Oh, and he's rich too.  

The reason why many of us who know our purpose tend not to appreciate it is because we can't see the future in it. Most of the time, visions and revelations are given to us raw; it's left to us to refine it.

One of the best ways to add value to what you do is to become someone of value. The young man in that story didn't want to bring himself down to the level he saw in the dream. Instead, by developing himself and learning something new, he unknowingly brought the purpose up to his level. Not everyone is lucky to discover purpose through dreams or visions but one thing is certain- we all have a purpose for which we're here on earth. It's up to you to determine how you achieve it. You create your own future, so start modeling it now so it becomes a MASTERPIECE later.

How did you discover your purpose? Was it through a vision, reading a book or just interacting with friends? Are there any steps you know in living a fulfilled life? Your comments are welcome.
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Ebooks you might want to check out:
Change Your Mind, Change Your Life
Power, Purpose and Service

How High Can You Fly?

The human mentality is one aspect that we can't stop talking about. I guess this is because it is one of the major determinants of what we make of our existence. It influences the way we think, our perspective of life and the way we prepare ourselves for the future.

A lot of us see breaking forth as the act of forgetting the past and focusing on the new. But do we fully break forth immediately that first transformation is made? I saw the following butterfly concept in a blog post by Alexis explaining the transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly.


"The butterfly most certainly does not still think like a caterpillar.  I have not once seen a butterfly crawling on the ground or in trees.  The only time I’ve seen them landed is when they are perched on flowers or plants for nourishment.
The majority of a butterfly’s existence is the opposite of the caterpillar.  They have a completely different point of view because their scope is much broader.  They are no longer focused on their immediate surroundings, only looking at the details of the ground and the branches that they climb on.  Instead, they are able to take in the infinite possibilities of their interesting, beautiful, and ever-changing environment at their whim."

After reading that, can you answer this question; 'Is it possible for a butterfly to be afraid of heights?' Sounds crazy right? It's already in the air, so how can it have a phobia for heights? This is where mentality comes in.

From that concept, you can see that the caterpillar's scope is much limited than that of the butterfly. Just as the butterfly won't hop on the ground or on trees, it also might not reach full potential in flight. I've seen butterflies that fly low to the ground when they just start out. The butterfly has been used to the caterpillar's scope so it digests its new found potential little by little.

Whenever we experience a breakthrough, everyone sees it. But unlike the butterfly, not many of us fully digest our new found potential. When this happens, using it maximally becomes impossible. The physical and mental transformation occurs but we still don't see the endless possibilities of this new gift. So we settle for less without even knowing it.

When the butterfly asks itself, 'What if I fly higher?’ it tries it and its scope widens. Curiosity and adventure opens doors we didn't know were there. The more you look for various ways to do something or solve a problem, your scope increases. The flowers at the top of the tallest trees become easy to nourish from. You surpass your peers and aim higher, thereby getting better results. You suddenly become the know-it-all and do-it-all without even trying.  

The more challenges you face at higher levels in life, the easier it gets to overcome them. This is the reason why it is always important to learn from mistakes and situations every day. Only then can your question change from, 'Can I do that?' to 'Did I do all that?' Well, of course you did it, there is nobody like YOU! 

To understand more about the butterfly concept, you can read Alexis' post on Finding Hope Within. By the way, she's my newest teacher. So you see, I'm still learning, are you?

Why do you think most people fail to fully realize and utilize our potential? There are various reasons; this is just one of them. Your comments are welcome.

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Ebooks you might be interested in:
Change Your Mind, Change Your Life
Power, Purpose and Service
How to Identify Business Opportunities

You Are Better Than You Think

Most times, the cause of most of our problems in life is what we say to ourselves and not what others say or do to us. Not many of us know this and so we blame our misfortunes and disappointments on others instead of taking full responsibility. But the question is, "what makes us say things that limit us in almost every aspect of our lives?" The answer isn't far fetched.

Do you know that your self worth is determined by the beliefs, attitudes, opinions and feelings you have about yourself? The moment you realize this and take advantage of it, you'll have complete control over yourself and the world you've created. But how can you make your beliefs work for you? All you have to do is take control of your mind. That sounds pretty simple, right? Well, yes it is simple but I didn't say it's easy. Your beliefs are limited to your state of mind and your perspective of life. You can't tell a mad man that tomorrow, he's going to head a huge business empire. He'll think that you're the mad one and probably tell you to see a doctor.

Before you can change your beliefs, you have to find that reason why you think the way you do.
You do know that before you can find something, you've got to know exactly what it is you're looking for. According to research and experience, one of the main causes of our problems in life is believing and saying that we're not good enough. This feeling of inferiority is one of the most dangerous causes of failure and disappointment. Trust me; I know what I'm talking about. For a long time in my younger years, I was burdened with this feeling of inferiority. I didn't even know what it was then. Well, maybe I did but didn't know what to call it. A few so-called friends knew this and took advantage of me, in a negative way of course. I've forgiven them anyway because they helped me realize this flaw in me and I started working towards correcting it. Now, I won't say I’m completely 'cured' because I still see the scars but I have power over it. That to me is the most important thing, having power over any circumstance or challenge and not letting it overcome you.

This just shows that the way you think and feel about yourself can be completely changed. All you have to do is know its cause, find it and work on it. As I said, it's not easy. It'll take more than just a few hours of self examination to discover it. You'll need to have an open mind and learn from every mistake you make.
A word of caution here; Just because you occupy a high position or are successful in business doesn't exclude you from feeling this way about yourself. I was in a coveted position but still had issues. This means that you can be higher and better than you are now by getting rid of this feeling. 

I'll round off with this word from Richard Devos; "The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible."

What's been your most limiting belief in life and how did you overcome it? If you gained from this post, please leave a comment and get a free download from the 'free eBooks 4 u' page.

Your Personality- Is It Good For Business?

We all have personality traits unique to us. By the end of this article, you'll get to know how you can use your personality and those around you for your business success.

We are all different and have qualities unique to us. In case you don't know, there are ten personalities, each having their own qualities. Four of these include the Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic and Phlegmatic. The combination of these, which I call the 'Personality Mix’, makes ten. Some of these temperaments have some qualities which are so not good, especially if you want to start your own business. So how can you use your qualities and employ those you don't have for your business success?
In a previous article, I gave a list of some of the positive and negative qualities of these traits. Now, I'll be relating these traits to business so you'll know the kind of partners and employees you should have.

1. The Sanguine
People with this personality are cheerful, playful and creative. A CEO who is a pure Sanguine would be creative but could be unserious some times. Without thinking, he could tell his employees to do things or carry out any idea that comes to mind. If you're such a person, you'll need someone to analyze your sometimes crazy ideas and another to caution you when you play too much. A Melancholic is known for careful thinking and analysis. Making such a person a partner or team leader would make you look less stupid to your employees. A Choleric is like a Sanguine but is very good at giving out instructions and getting the job done. Your business is sure to get more fruitful with this guy around.

2. The Choleric
This is the goal-getting, no-nonsense personality. Someone with this personality is sure to have a productive business but a not so-good relationship with the employees. Not everyone likes a 'bossy boss'. Having a Phlegmatic partner or team leader is sure to create a cool and calm atmosphere while a Sanguine juices it up with creativity and life.

3. The Melancholic
This personality does a lot of thinking before taking action. When I say thinking, I mean a lot of it. What's the use of thinking a lot and acting little, you'll practically get nowhere. If you have such a personality trait, a Choleric as a partner will push you as a business owner to take more action. Also a partner or team leader with a Phlegmatic personality will help you know what needs to be analyzed and what should be discarded. You don't have to think about everything, you know?

4. The Phlegmatic
A person with this personality will make a good business owner but would need some backup. Your nonchalant attitude towards things could be an asset or a weakness, depending on the situation. Being that you might not take some important things seriously, you'll need someone with a Melancholic personality to help you with your to-do list. You'll also need an action figure, but be careful. Someone with a Choleric personality might overshadow you and end up gaining your reserved respect from your employees. I'm sure you don't want that, do you?

If your business is on a low budget, you could just get someone with the personality mix that you require and you're good to go.

How To Build Difficult Relationships

We all have people whom we love and those with whom we have nothing to do with. But do you know that it's possible to still have your enemies on your side. Find out how in this article.

Relationship building is one of the many things essential for personal and business success. It is seen as connecting with people who share your values, beliefs, class and so on. But tell me what happens when that one person who can boost you to success happens to be your complete opposite. He contradicts everything you stand for and worst of all, he doesn't like you. Would you then say, "Well, since we have nothing in common, I'll make do without him." Sometimes, this is the best thing to say and at other times, it's not. With the simple techniques I'm about to tell you, you can build effective relationships with almost anyone and everyone.

1. Study Your Target
By saying study, I don't mean spy. I simply mean observe your target's actions and behaviours. In order to observe, you need to provide answers to the what, why and how questions like; What's his personality makeup? How does he interact with partners and employees? What kind of task does he regard as perfectly done? What makes him feel important? What kind of people does he have relationships with? What makes him say yes or go ahead to tasks and ideas? The questions are endless. Your study has got to be thorough, especially if your target is a difficult person.

2. Play The Pet
When your pet wants something from you, does it use its canines or animal strength to make you give in? It dares not. It simply wines because it knows you'll definitely fall for it. This is one method you should adopt. If you carry out your study well, you'll get to know what makes your target tick. Forget about all the assets or relationships you have and just make him feel important. Just as you give your pet what it wants, you'll definitely get that relationship you want.

3. Offer a Service
In my younger years in school, I never really fought to defend myself because I didn't know how to. Infact, with the number of bullies I had as friends, I didn't need to. Some of the things I did in return was to help them with studies because I happened to be one of the Brainiacs in the class. They neither compelled me to do this nor did we enter any protection agreement. I just did it and I got what I wanted. Go out of your way and do something that you know your target will appreciate.

4. Keep Your Head in The Game
Don't forget the primary reason you why you are into the relationship. The moment you lose focus, you lose your power to your target. Make him realize (indirectly) that you're in control and the moment you leave, you're taking all the goodies with you.

Building relationships is all about creating value exchanges. Give all you can but don't forget to receive. That way, the relationship becomes profitable and worthwhile.
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The Best Way To Get Rid Of Negative Emotions

As I said before, negative emotions should be your greatest enemies if your goal is to be successful and happy. By now, you know the causes of negative emotions and how to get rid of them. If you don't, you can read the article here. Do you know that the last cause that I'm about to mention now is one that each one of us has been guilty of at one time or the other?

The last cause of negative emotions is one of the greatest super villains of all time. Why do I say this? It avoids you from taking critical decisions and traps you so that it's hard to get free. This worst cause is the act of blaming other people for our problems. I wonder if it's possible to entirely stop blaming because I still find myself in the act sometimes. Getting rid of it might not be easy but it can be suppressed to a level where it has no power over you. Blaming others is so bad that even when you're fifty, you can still keep blaming your parents for things they did or did not do for you.

Luckily for us, this can be stopped by accepting responsibility for your actions and circumstances. You are where you are because of you and not someone else. The moment you realize that no one else is responsible, you automatically take charge. All the other three causes can be stopped and you can take control by simply accepting complete responsibility for your life.

How To Get Rid Of Negative Emotions

Negative emotions and success don't belong on the same team. In this post, you'll get to know the negative emotions and how to erase them so that your goal can be a success.

The reason why you do what you do now is because at the end, you want to be successful and happy. But do you have the right state of mind to achieve this? If success and happiness are your ultimate goals, then negative emotions should be your greatest enemies. Negative emotions hold you down and remove all the joy that was once present in your life.

To be truly happy and successful, your most important goal should be to free yourself from these emotions. I must tell you, it's not easy but it's possible if you learn how.
The negative emotions of fear, jealousy, hatred, revenge, greed, superstition and anger don't just occur on their own. They are caused by four factors, some of which most of us are guilty of. These emotions stop the moment you eliminate these four factors. Let's see a few of these factors.

1. Rationalizing and Making Excuses
This is simply defending an unacceptable action with an acceptable explanation. It's like trying to make an ugly duckling look like a swan. You create an explanation that sounds good even when your action was the direct opposite. This act keeps your negative emotions alive. The antidote for this factor is to refuse to rationalize and stop making excuses for your actions.

2. Oversensitivity
You'll realize that almost everything you do is to earn the respect of others or to avoid losing their respect. As a result of this, you end up being too concerned about the way people treat you. For some, their whole self-image is determined by the way other people interact with them. They base their value and self-worth on the opinions of others. If those opinions are negative, the negative emotions come into action. Whenever you begin to feel inferior or depressed, realize that this is the cause and learn to rise above the opinions of others about you. Start developing your own personal value and self image.

3. Justifying Your Feelings
Justifying that you are entitled to feel a particular way can make you negative. For example, you get failed for a test which you put a lot of effort into. Thereafter, you become angry with the examiner and you justify your anger by describing all the reasons why you shouldn't have failed. You even go as far as taking the matter up with higher authorities. As long as you do this, your negative emotions take control of you. The moment you say, "Well, I've failed this test but I'm not the first one to fail it. I'd better start preparing so I can pass the next one," your emotions disappear and are replaced with positive emotions that keep you focused on the goal. You become more effective once you stop justifying.

From now on, refuse to justify your actions or make excuses. Apologizing for a mistake makes things a whole lot better. Every time you blame someone or rationalize, you trigger negative emotions which don't affect the other person but you. You give that person power over your emotions, leaving you angry inside. If success is still your goal and this is not what you want, then I guess the answer is quite simple. Just don't do it. 

In my next post, you'll get to know the best way to get rid of negative emotions.

How else do you think we can get rid of negative emotions? I'd like to hear your views in the comments.
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Personality Mix- Know Your Combination

I guess by now you must know the four major temperaments and the category you belong. If you don't, you can read my post on the four major temperaments.
If you read the post, you might have questions like, "I know my personality, but I have qualities of another temperament . What does this mean?" Well, it's possible to have a combination of two temperaments. I call this the 'Personality Mix'. Below are the 6 combinations a human could possibly have. Having all four temperaments will make you a freak though.

5. The Sanguine and Melancholic
You remember that the Sanguine is the playful and cheerful personality, full of colour and creativity. The Melancholic on the other hand is the guy who prefers to think and study than play. He's the boring guy that doesn't demand attention. Then how is it possible for a guy to be both cheerful and boring? Simple. The combinations come in different proportions. You could either have more qualities of a Sanguine than a Melancholic (SanMel) or more of a Melancholic than a Sanguine (MelSan). A SanMel could be an analyst but would know when to think and when to talk or play. A MelSan would be more of a thinker but would know how to make you smile when you cry (remember, Sanguines are good sympathizers).

6. The Sanguine and Phlegmatic
Remember the Phlegmatic is the cool, calm, easygoing and patient guy. People with this combo have got the charm and appeal of a casanova, regardless of the proportions of the temperaments. They sure know how to party and can be unserious sometimes.

7. The Choleric and Melancholic
Remember the Choleric is the strong willed, goal oriented personality. If you have more qualities of the Choleric than the Melancholic (ChorMel), you'd make a good activist. They back up thinking with go-getting and so always do a good job. They might hurt people in the process, but their main focus is the end result, so they don't care. Those with more Melancholic qualities (MelChor) also get the job done but with caution. Unlike the ChorMel, they care how others feel when they carry out some actions. Also they always look serious and only show emotion when the situation demands it.

8. The Choleric and Phlegmatic
These guys know when to play and when to throw commands. No matter the proportions, they are goal getters but they do this with style. They also have their fair share of charm and appeal. They can cheer you up when you're sad but could get pissed off when your crying gets too much.

9. The Sanguine and Choleric
If you've got no trace of bore in you, then this is your combo. It's never a dull moment around these guys. They can be authoritative but they'll make good leaders if they work with the right people.

10. The Melancholic and Phlegmatic
These guys will need to take a bottle of optimism and self confidence every morning before the days work. They live by strong principles and always want things to be done the right way, and perfectly too. To work with these kind of people, you've got to have some of the qualities of the other personalities.

So there you have it, the ten personalities of a human. If you didn't know the kind of person you are, now you do. If you feel I'm wrong about any of the personalities, feel free to leave a comment, correcting me of where I'm wrong. We're all still learning.

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Personalities- The Four Major Temperaments.

We all have personality traits unique to us. By the end of this post, you'll get to know four of the ten human temperaments and the category you belong through identifying your qualities.

A lot of people look at themselves and say, "How I wish I was born differently." I used to fall in this category of self esteem 'crushers'. Do you? It took a lot of self reassuring and examination for me to realize that I can not change who I am, but I can make the best out of it. How?
Psychologists have really done a great job studying the human being in order to know why we act the way we do. The result of their research is what we now know as 'temperaments'. In no particular order, I'll be introducing you to four of the temperaments and you'll get to know what category you belong.

1. The Sanguine
I love these guys because it's never a dull moment around them. Their mere presence seems to brighten things up. Some of their many qualities include: extroverts, optimistic, appealing and cheerful personality, sincere, creative, good sense of humor, sympathetic and have really good memory. If you've got that cheerful smile and attractive personality, this is where you belong.

2. The Choleric
If it's not done their way, then it's not perfect. Some of their qualities include: extroverts, go- getters, optimistic, born leaders, dynamic and active, confident, love productivity, can be violent, strong-willed, efficient in emergencies and goal oriented. It's really easy for people in this category to make enemies.
The Sanguine and Choleric are both extroverts having a lot of other qualities in common. Now let's take a look at the temperaments of the introvert.

3. The Melancholic
These guys see the world from a perspective different from that of the previous temperaments. The Melancholic are introverts, deep thinkers, strict, analytical, principled, sensitive to art or music, perfectionists, faithful and can be pessimistic some times. I'm so sure I fall in this category. If you love analyzing things that sometimes don't need analysis, then you're with me.

4. The Phlegmatic
If you want someone who'll say yes to practically everything you say, then have a Phlegmatic as a friend. They are cool, calm, easy going, patient, kind, introverts, good listeners, sympathetic, peaceful, have a dry sense of humor and always find the easy way out.  

Having one personality doesn't mean that you're glued to it all your life. It's possible to develop qualities in other desired personalities. Developing these qualities gives you a cool personality mix. You can have more than one temperament in different proportions but you can't have all. That would make you a freak. So, whatever qualities you choose to acquire, make sure they're in line with your goals so that you can make the most of them.

How to Be Your Own Secret Agent

When I was much younger, I desperately wanted to be an agent. I would watch James Bond movies and the likes and act out almost everything I see. I loved the thrill, excitement and I admired them, simply because of their smooth intelligence and gadgets. But the question that I didn’t seem to have an answer to was, ‘How could they live two extremely different lives and yet still have one right frame of mind.’ Was it that they were master deceivers or they had this behavioral disorder or some dual personality disease? It wasn’t until recently that the answer came to me.

Most of us film lovers already know the profile of a typical secret agent. He enrolls into a military school where he gets trained and bruised till he’s ready to fight for his country. He gets awarded lots of medals for bravery and skill and if he’s good enough, he’s abducted. Smooth and easy. Most of the time before the guy is abducted, he has a family, and he can’t dump one for the other. So what does he do?

It is possible for one man to be seen as a businessman who will stop at nothing to see his business make money for him, a loving father and husband who’ll be awarded for just killing a housefly and a master Casanova carrying in his suit jacket a revolver and a laser pen. How? He simply creates and dishes out different impressions of himself to different people and he definitely knows how to keep his professional and private life separate and secret, breaking all links or bridges.

Now how does all this apply to you? If you run your own business, the way you manage it wouldn’t be exactly the same way you hold your family together. For a ruthless businessman, it’ll be good to create another impression of kindness and humility that others outside your corporate world would have of you. Why? Let’s take this example; due to your business tyranny, you happen to step on a few shoes. In order to get you out of the way, you get framed and thrown into jail. Being that you’ve got friends in high places who know you to be a kind and jovial twit (your other impression), you end up spending just one night in the cell. The next morning, you’re back at your desk, planning how to best deal with your backstabbing associates (you’re back to your other self and your influential friends know nothing about this). What have you to lose?

This technique is not just for businessmen only. You may define this as being deceptive, but hey, it’s up to you to use it. Create secret impressions that you want different people to have of you but a word of caution here; they don’t have to be the opposite sides of the coin. The impressions could be similar, yet different. You never know, they could come in handy when the time comes.